Oh my god, y'all: drinking is expensive. Drinking is really fucking expensive.
We've just graduated from college, and this is the first summer we've
been 21, and we're two drinks in at the cheapest Midtown bar we could
find and we're not even tipsy yet. $12 down, each. The excitement of
finally being 21, of finally being able to go to bars, is fading
quickly.
We leave because fuck this, and accompany our friend AF to a Mexican restaurant down the street, where he gets some takeout because he hasn't eaten dinner yet. He's driving back to Rockland County in a few minutes, and isn't trying to get wasted. We are.
When he leaves, we hesitate in front of the wine store across the street before going in. This, obviously, is the way to do it: the cheapest -- the only -- way to get drunk. But how will we drink it? Where will we drink it? Do we need a paper bag?
We realize another thing, as we scan the shelves: we don't have a corkscrew. What are we going to do?! "Do you have a corkscrew?" I ask Joe. He doesn't. We keep walking, watching the wine prices go up and up as we walk further and further into the store. "Do you want to buy one now, and then you'll have one for life?" I ask, and he laughs and says, "Sure."
And thus, we learn Lesson #1: Always Bring a Corkscrew.
We walk and we walk and we walk, and we're about to give up when I say, "Joe. Joe," and I grab his arm. He turns, and he sees: huge, 1.5 liter bottles of wine, on sale for $8.99, with screw-on caps.
Problem solved!
We drink the entire thing on the Hudson, looking at the Jersey skyline and talking for hours. Lesson #2: Never Bring a Corkscrew.
--
Welcome to this blog. If you're anything like us, you've recently graduated from college with the highest tolerance of your life, only to discover that, in the real world, drinking is very, very expensive. This blog isn't to help you find the best drinks in New York City, or even the best deals in New York City ($50 for an $100 wine!). This blog isn't about ambiance, or places to take your date (unless your date is fucking awesome), or places with good food where you can also get tipsy. This blog is about where you can, with as little money as possible, get absolutely wasted.
Cheers!
Maia and Joe
We leave because fuck this, and accompany our friend AF to a Mexican restaurant down the street, where he gets some takeout because he hasn't eaten dinner yet. He's driving back to Rockland County in a few minutes, and isn't trying to get wasted. We are.
When he leaves, we hesitate in front of the wine store across the street before going in. This, obviously, is the way to do it: the cheapest -- the only -- way to get drunk. But how will we drink it? Where will we drink it? Do we need a paper bag?
We realize another thing, as we scan the shelves: we don't have a corkscrew. What are we going to do?! "Do you have a corkscrew?" I ask Joe. He doesn't. We keep walking, watching the wine prices go up and up as we walk further and further into the store. "Do you want to buy one now, and then you'll have one for life?" I ask, and he laughs and says, "Sure."
And thus, we learn Lesson #1: Always Bring a Corkscrew.
We walk and we walk and we walk, and we're about to give up when I say, "Joe. Joe," and I grab his arm. He turns, and he sees: huge, 1.5 liter bottles of wine, on sale for $8.99, with screw-on caps.
Problem solved!
We drink the entire thing on the Hudson, looking at the Jersey skyline and talking for hours. Lesson #2: Never Bring a Corkscrew.
--
Welcome to this blog. If you're anything like us, you've recently graduated from college with the highest tolerance of your life, only to discover that, in the real world, drinking is very, very expensive. This blog isn't to help you find the best drinks in New York City, or even the best deals in New York City ($50 for an $100 wine!). This blog isn't about ambiance, or places to take your date (unless your date is fucking awesome), or places with good food where you can also get tipsy. This blog is about where you can, with as little money as possible, get absolutely wasted.
Cheers!
Maia and Joe
AMAZING CONCEPT AMAZING PEOPLE AMAZING BACKGROUND IMAGE.
ReplyDeleteKEEP IT COMING WE WANT MORE
cordially,
nick
I've never had much trouble with this. 40s of Ballantine for $2.50 at any deli go a long way. But I'm excited to learn some new approaches. May the city be a fruitful laboratory for your efforts!
ReplyDelete-JG
Oh, I mean, things you buy yourself and drink in the privacy of your own home are gonna be pretty cheap all over the country -- we just found getting drunk when "going out" to be waaaaay too expensive. The blog's really about how to get wasted in private establishments. And thank you!
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